


Never Doubt I Love

by Phantom710



Category: Sense and Sensibility (1995), Sense and Sensibility (TV 2008), Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-31
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2019-05-16 15:17:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14813846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phantom710/pseuds/Phantom710
Summary: Colonel Brandon and Miss Marianne Dashwood. A Romance that was slow in the making. This one starts on Marianne's 20th birthday, 3.5 years after she first met the Colonel. They're not yet married, not even engaged, but they will be, soon. Yet true love isn't always an easy road, as these two will find.





	1. Marianne's Birthday

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve caught the fan-fiction fever, and just a week after beginning my first one, I’ve decided to start this one as well-- yet another favorite book/movie of mine. I’m trying to stay as true to facts about the time period as possible, but I have taken some liberties with dates because nothing too much was ever said that I recall. Finally, while I love the book, I have to admit I love the 1995 and 2008 movie/series the most, so it’s with them in mind that I write this. Now-- onto the story!

Chapter One: Marianne’s Birthday

 

Marianne smiled as she looked around the gathering of people who’d assembled in her honor, though her smile didn’t reach her eyes. She wasn’t entirely sure that her 20th birthday was anything more special than her 19th, and yet her mother and Elinor had been determined to have some of their friends over. In contrast, the last year had been very calm, with Edward, Elinor, her mother, and Margaret, being the only other people in attendance. This year, there were a lot of faces, and Marianne was truly happy to see most of them. John Middleton had immediately offered up his home to host the gathering, which was some relief to her mother as Barton Cottage would not as easily contain the growing guest list. 

All of the Middletons were in attendance of course, including Mrs Jennings. The Palmers were also there. A few others roamed about that Marianne had been introduced to yet didn’t really know, but one face was glaringly absent to her; it was that of Colonel Brandon. He’d been called away on business almost a fortnight ago. When he’d stopped by Barton Cottage to say farewell, he’d told her he would try his best to be back in time for her birthday, yet as the party went on, she saw that it was less and less likely to happen. 

“Marianne, are you not having fun?” Elinor came up behind her, placing a hand on her arm as she did so.

“I am, yes. It’s nice to see everyone and you and mother have done so well with this.”

“You don’t seem happy, dearest.”

“I’m just a little disappointed that Colonel Brandon wasn’t able to make it.”

Elinor smiled a knowing smile. Her sister and Colonel Brandon were almost inseparable of late. When he was at his residence he frequently visited for walks, or she would visit with Margaret or herself as chaperone to look through his collection of books and music. Elinor and her mother frequently spoke about the relationship, both were sure a marriage was in the future for the two, but no one spoke of it. Least of all Marianne, who insisted that Colonel Brandon was only a dear friend.

“I’m sure he would have been here if he could. Whatever called him away must have been very important.”

“I know you’re right, Elinor. Let’s go enjoy ourselves.” Marianne offered, linking her arm through her sister’s and leading them towards a group of people surrounding Mrs. Jennings. 

 

Margaret, unused to being allowed to stay up so late, was dosing in a chair as Elinor, Mrs. Dashwood and Marianne stood at the front door, waving goodbye to the last of the guests. Sir John stood behind them, smiling broadly. “Well, I think that was a great success for a birthday celebration, don’t you ladies?”

Elinor and Mrs. Dashwood agreed, and Marianne smiled pleasantly at the man. “It was. Thank you so much for hosting this party on my behalf Sir John, it was a lovely evening.”

Mrs. Jennings appeared as they walked back into the house. “Lovely party Mrs. Ferrars, Mrs. Dashwood, you did very well by our Miss Marianne.” She paused before addressing Marianne directly. “I’m so sorry not everyone was in attendance that you’d hoped. It’s so hard to be away from the people we love, isn’t it?”

Marianne’s cheeks colored, and she struggled to say something in response. Luckily, her mother spoke up instead. “We thank you all, but we shouldn’t encroach on your hospitality any longer. We need to get back home, Margaret is in dire need of her bed.”

Elinor spoke next. “Yes, Mr. Ferrars and I need to be heading back as well.”

“Nonsense ladies! I insist you spend your night here. We’ve already planned for it. You can head back to your houses in the morning!” Sir John proclaimed.

Having known the man for several years now, they all three knew that he, nor his mother-in-law, would be put off with ease, so they nodded their heads in acceptance of his invitation, and after a few more shared words, they were all led off to their rooms.

 

Marianne, who was sharing a room with Margaret, sat by an open window, still in the dress she’d worn earlier in the evening. Once upstairs, she’d found that she wasn’t greatly tired, so chose instead to make use of the library at Barton Park. While it was not as extensive as the one at Delaford, she had been able to find a book she’d not read before. It was there, that she heard the sound of galloping hooves approaching. Closing her book, Marianne leaned forward to look out the window. A cloaked man was rapidly approaching, as he grew nearer, her heartbeat picked up. She recognized him as Colonel Brandon. 

Hastily, she placed her book on a nearby table, and slipped her slippers back onto her feet. She opened the door of her room quietly, so as not to wake Margaret, and hurried downstairs to the front door. Despite the party having ended just over an hour before, the house was quiet, even the staff having went to their beds. She reached the front door and opened it, finding the Colonel on the other side, raising his hand to knock. “Colonel!”

Colonel Brandon’s eyes widened at the sight of Marianne opening the door. He’d expected one of Sir John’s staff. “Miss Marianne, Happy Birthday.” 

Marianne grinned at him, before stepping aside so he could come in. “Thank you, Colonel Brandon.” 

Colonel Brandon stepped inside, noticing that the house was darker than he’d expected. “The party?”

“It ended about an hour ago, I’m afraid everyone else has went to their beds.”

Colonel Brandon took a step back and straightened. “I apologize Miss Marianne, I know that Mrs. Jennings’ parties can last all night if she’s given the opportunity. I wouldn’t have come if I’d known. I should leave.”

“Please, don’t, Colonel, rest for a moment from your ride, at least?”

The Colonel looked unsure, glancing around at the quiet house. “I shouldn’t. Will you be at Barton Cottage tomorrow?”

“Yes, I imagine we’ll leave here early in the morning to return.”

“May I stop by at midday then?”

“Please do, I-- I’ve missed our walks.”

    Colonel Brandon’s face softened. “I have too.” He turned to leave, the door still open into the night air, but paused and turned back. He reached his hand inside of his long coat and took out a small, simply wrapped package. “This is for you. A gift for your birthday.”

    Marianne smiled as she accepted it. “Thank you, Colonel. Though, you didn’t have to you know.”

    He smiled again, but Marianne could tell that something was worrying him more than the late hour. “I wanted to. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He nodded once more before turning and leaving the house. 

    Marianne waited until he’d ridden out of sight before closing the door, and looking at the package in her hand. She untied the piece of string that held the paper, removing it as she moved to a nearby chair. Inside, was a framed poem, with a watercolor painted behind. She traced the wooden frame with her fingers, as she whispered the words. _“Doubt thou the stars are fire, Doubt that the sun doth move; Doubt truth to be a liar; But never doubt I love.”_


	2. A Walk with the Colonel

With only the dresses they wore the previous night to wear home, Mrs. Dashwood, Marianne, and Margaret all rushed in to change as soon as they arrived at Barton Cottage. Marianne had swayed back and forth on whether she would reveal the previous evening’s encounter with Colonel Brandon. In the end, she’d told her mom almost everything, only leaving out the gift he’d given her, as she wanted to keep that solely for herself to smile at. That morning, Marianne took a little longer than she normally would have, trying to pick out a complimentary dress as well as ensuring all of her hair was pinned back as neat as possible. 

It clearly didn’t escape her mother’s notice, as when she walked back down the stairs, Mrs. Dashwood smiled, saying, “Marianne, you look lovely. It’s as if you’re pleased to be seeing someone shortly.”

“Oh, mama, it’s nothing, I just thought I should look presentable.”

Mrs. Dashwood smiled again, but didn’t reply. Margaret jumped down the stairs two at a time just a minute later, and effectively brought all focus to her. “Mama, can I go outside for a while?”

“Yes, of course dear, just remember a hat this time, please. You’re getting browner with every day.”

“Marianne? Would you like to come?” Margaret loved walks, just as much as Marianne, if not a little more. It didn’t escape her older sister’s notice the similarities that they shared, now that she was the same age as Marianne when they first came to Barton. 

“You go ahead, I’d like to be here when the Colonel arrives. Perhaps we’ll take a walk and meet you.” Marianne replied and Margaret smiled in agreement. She grabbed a hat from a post near the door and was gone before anyone could detain her further. 

True to his word, Colonel Brandon arrived promptly at mid-day, just an hour and a half after the Dashwood household had arrived back at Barton Cottage. Marianne sat patiently as he was let in, and directed toward her mother and herself. They both stood as they entered, though her mother was the first to speak. “Colonel Brandon! We’re so glad to have you back with us, we do miss your company when your business calls you away.”

“Thank you, ma’am, I fear though these trips are unavoidable. Though I confess I’d rather be here as well.” As he spoke, he raised his hand, revealing a small bouquet of flowers, and handing them to Mrs. Dashwood. “These are for you, as I’m sure the birthday party provided several bouquets for Miss Marianne, but not any for you.”

“As it should be, Colonel, it was Marianne’s day after all, but thank you for the flowers, they’re lovely. If you don’t mind, I’ll just go find somewhere to put them where everyone can see them.” Colonel Brandon stepped out of her way, and closer to Marianne as her mother left the room, looking down at her flowers.

“Colonel--”

“Miss Marianne--” They both spoke at the same time.

“You go first--”

“Please, go ahead--” They both smiled, having done it again.

Colonel Brandon cleared his throat, still chuckling lightly. “Please, continue.”

Marianne smiled, feeling a hint of color come to her cheeks as she looked at him. It was odd sensation, she’d never blushed around him before. His company was always so agreeable that she never felt anything but completely comfortable. “Colonel Brandon, I was just going to say-- that is, I’d like to say thank you, for your gift. It was very much appreciated.”

If Marianne wasn’t mistaken, she was fairly certain she saw the Colonel’s shoulder’s relax just a little. “I’m glad you liked it. I’ve been thinking for the last month on what I should get you.”

“You chose well, Colonel.”

“The weather is fine today, and I’ve missed our walks. Would you care to join me? Margaret or your Mother are welcome to come, of course.”

Marianne smiled. “Yes, that sounds wonderful, though I’m afraid Margaret left before us, I did tell her we might come across her, though.”

“Excellent, shall we?” The Colonel gestured that Marianne should lead, following her out of the house after she’d grabbed her bonnet, and placing his hat back on once they were outside.”

“In which direction shall we travel today?” he asked her.

“You choose this time. I always choose.”

“Well, I’ve no complaints so far. You might know the best places more than I do, and I’ve lived here longer. Still, it will be as you wish.” 

They walked for a while in silence, both enjoying the other’s company, yet feeling no need to have a stirring conversation. Colonel Brandon stopped when they reached a shaded part in the path they’d chosen. It offered a nice relief from the warm sun. He turned to face her, smiling down at her as she looked up at him. “You said you liked the gift--”

“ I did, very much.” Marianne sought to reassure him, but cringed inwardly that she’d interrupted him. “I’m sorry, go on.”

The Colonel smiled, waving his hand as if to say her interruption was fine. “I was just wondering if you’d given any thought to the meaning behind the words?”

“I have. It’s from Hamlet, I think. I read it-- one of the many I’ve borrowed from your library over the last few years.”

“You’re correct. Though maybe not a verse expected in Hamlet.”

“No, it is rather a romantic verse, is it not?”

“I think so, yes.”

“I think Hamlet wanted to make sure Ophelia knew his feelings, though my mother thinks that Hamlet was telling her instead to never think that, because he didn’t actually care for her.”

“I find myself inclined to disagree with your mother.”

Marianne looked up at the Colonel and grinned. “I told her she was wrong as well.” The Colonel opened his mouth to respond, but Marianne spoke first. “Will you recite the verse to me, Colonel Brandon?”

“You mean, here? Now?”

“Yes. Please.”

He nodded his agreement, and cleared his throat. He began the verse, and his voice captured Marianne as it always did when he was reading for reciting from memory. He had such an understanding of how to speak, and she never grew tired of it. When he was saying the last line, Marianne’s hand darted out, touching his arm as he finished. The contact caused him a second’s hesitation, but he continued. “...But never doubt I love.”

When he finished, his eyes looked down at where his hand held onto his arm, then back at her. He said nothing, waiting for her to break the silence, and she did. “I don’t doubt it Colonel Brandon.” She paused, her stomach clenching as she decided whether to go on or not. In the last few years, since her debacle with Willoughby, she’d tried with great force to be a lady likened to her mother or sister. For the most part, she’d been successful. Still, when she had something on her mind, she struggled to contain it, and with the Colonel, she felt that she didn’t have to, so she chose to continue on. “I think I’ve been sure of it for a while.”


	3. An Engagement

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Upon doing some research about engagements and courting in this time, I found out something quite interesting: Courtship (modern day dating) came AFTER the proposal of marriage. The couples were finally able to see each other without a chaperone, touch each other (properly of course), and etc. Also, I’ll be doing some minor editing on the first two chapters-- I’d forgotten that Marianne wouldn’t be “Miss Marianne” anymore, and would be “Miss Dashwood” now that Elinor is married off to Edward. A lot of people seem to be under the impression that Colonel Brandon’s first name was Christopher, though Jane Austen never named him. Though when trying to find another name that suited him, I came up empty. (Though I did consider Wesley) So-- Christopher Wesley Brandon he shall be.
> 
> Finally--I have been on vacation, dealing with finals, a crazy work schedule and a LO with pneumonia, so please forgive the time it has taken to get this next chapter out. I've made it a little longer as an apology. Enjoy!

Chapter Three: An Engagement  


 

Colonel Brandon’s eyes widened at Marianne’s words. He wasn’t expecting their conversation to turn in this direction and so had no response formed in his head. Marianne must have sensed his discomfort, as she smiled sweetly. “Shall we continue on Colonel?” 

The Colonel nodded, and turned back in the direction that they’d been heading. Marianne’s hand dropped back down to her side, and he felt strangely bereft. They passed the next little while talking about a piece of music she had been practicing, but worried that she might not ever truly do it justice. Margaret came across them, as expected, all smiles at seeing the Colonel. 

“Colonel Brandon! We’re so glad to have you back! Marianne was quite dull to be around when you were away.”

Marianne felt her cheeks flush red. “Margaret!”

The Colonel was good enough to save Marianne embarrassment by  responding to the latter part of Margaret’s statement. “I’m glad to be back, and how are you Miss Margaret?”

“Most excellent. Where are you two walking?”

“I don’t believe we’d established a direct route. Perhaps you can choose?” The colonel smiled at Margaret, who happily obliged and began leading them down a winding path.    
Marianne walked by the Colonel’s side as Margaret walked ahead of them. She glanced up at the Colonel a few times before lowering her eyes back downwards at the ground. They followed Margaret for a while, both of them listening as Margaret talked about random things she’d read or found recently. As she pulled further ahead of them, Marianne’s attention was drawn back to the Colonel as he cleared his throat.    
“I wonder, if tomorrow you would allow me---”

“Yes, Colonel?”

“That is to say, I wonder if you would be agreeable to my speaking to your mother? Tomorrow.” He added the last word quickly. 

Marianne smiled, briefly considering teasing him, but decided against it, choosing not to torment him, even in fun, unnecessarily. She placed her hand on his arm instead, and said, “I would be glad if you did.” And with that one sentence, it seemed to be settled. They continued on their walk, except now Marianne thought the Colonel walked a little lighter.

***

The following morning passed even slower than the first.  Marianne went back and forth within her thoughts, wondering if she should warn her mother of the impending conversation, or to let it be a surprise. She knew her mother approved of the Colonel, she’ said as much on several occasions. Yet after the events with Willoughby, and Elinor’s subsequent marriage, her mother had ceased to remark on any topic involving Marianne ever engaging her affections again. She wondered if perhaps she was reluctant to have another daughter away from home, or now just overly protective. In the end, she simply told her mother that the Colonel was stopping by and let the Colonel take it from there.

Marianne busied herself behind the back of the house for much of the morning, pulling a few weeds from the flower bed, and wasting time. When she heard someone arrive at the front of the house she jumped up from where she’d been sitting and ran around the cottage, slowing only when she reached the final corner. She turned, smiling and talking as she spoke, “Colonel, welcome--” Her voice trailed off, finding Elinor smiling at her instead.

“I’m sorry to disappoint you, dearest, it’s just me.”

Marianne’s face must have dropped, but she quickly returned it to a smile again as she embraced her sister. “No, no, Elinor. You’re never a disappointment. I just thought it was someone else. Mama didn’t tell me you were coming today.”

“I didn’t know myself. Edward is attending to a dying woman in the village, and I was quite bored of being alone this morning, so decided to make my way over.”

“Well I’m sorry for the woman, but glad for the chance to see you.”

“You’re expecting the Colonel?”

“Yes, Did you happen to see him on your way over?”

“No, but I stopped by one of our parishioners homes on the way to drop off a loaf of bread.”

“Well, let’s go and find Mama, and Margaret is around here somewhere.”

Elinor’s visit helped to pass the time, and all three of the Dashwood ladies, as well as Mrs. Ferrars were sitting in the yard when Colonel Brandon arrived. They all stood, offering a greeting to him, and he to each of them individually. 

“Mrs. Ferrars, if I knew you were coming I’d have offered you a ride with me.”

“Thank you Colonel, it was rather last minute I’m afraid.”

The Colonel smiled, and turned to Mrs. Dashwood. “I was wondering if I might have a private word with you, Mrs. Dashwood?”

Marianne saw her mother’s eyes widen a fraction in surprise before she answered. “Yes, of course, Colonel Brandon.” 

The three sisters watched as the Colonel and Mrs. Dashwood went inside the house for their conversation. Margaret hurried over to stand between her two older sisters. “Marianne, whatever is the Colonel talking to Mama about?”

“I imagine we’ll find out shortly Margaret.” Elinor replied, sparing Marianne having to answer. Though she squeezed Marianne’s hand quickly and offered her a knowing smile. 

A short while later, Mrs. Dashwood opened a window that looked out at the back garden. “Marianne?” she called, “Would you come in here, please?”

“Of course, Mama, I’ll be right there.”

Marianne smiled at Elinor, “See you in a moment.” She said, before hurrying inside.

She found the Colonel and her mother standing in the small living room. She smiled at them both before addressing her mother. “You wished to speak to me Mama?”

Mrs. Dashwood’s face broke into a broad smile and she walked towards Marianne with her arms outstretched. “Colonel Brandon has asked for your hand, my dear, although I’m sure that isn’t as a surprise to you as it was to me.”

Marianne smiled, looking first to her mother and then to the Colonel, who stood very straight, though happy in appearance, as he watched the exchange. “No, Mama.”   
Mrs. Dashwood took her daughter's hand and smiled. “Well, if you’re in agreement, I’ve given my blessing.”

Marianne embraced her mother once more. “Thank you, I am quite in agreement.”

With that assurance, Mrs. Dashwood left her daughter and the Colonel alone. “I’ll give you a moment together, and then you must come out to tell your sisters.”

With her mother gone, Marianne smiled, and turned towards the Colonel. “Thank you for speaking to her. Was she very surprised?”

“Not as much as I expected. She seemed rather pleased.”   
“Well of course, why wouldn’t she be?”   
The Colonel didn’t reply, and he wasn’t given further chance to, as Margaret burst through the door, startling them both. She ran immediately to Marianne, and smiled. “Well? Mama said you had good news for us?” She gestured to the doorway just as Elinor quietly followed her inside.    
“I’m sorry, dearest, I couldn’t keep her out any longer.”

“It’s alright, Elinor. I have something to tell you both.” Marianne stepped toward the Colonel, smiling up at him as she did so. “Colonel Brandon has asked me to marry him, and I’ve agreed. Mama gave her blessing.”

Margaret clapped her hands together. “Oh, I’m so glad! How exciting it will be to have you as my brother, Colonel Brandon.”

Elinor approached both the Colonel and Marianne, “I’m so happy for you both. Truly.”

The Colonel offered her slight bow. “Thank you, Mrs. Ferrars.”

After a few more pleasant exchanges, Elinor and Margaret left the room once again. The Colonel faced Marianne. “I told your mother I’ll have my lawyers draw up all the necessary papers as quickly as possible, and I’ll have them delivered here.”

Marianne hadn’t considered the need for papers. As neither Elinor nor Edward had any real funds, their marriage had been rather simple. “Of course, Colonel.”

“Is there anything special you would like put in it?”

Marianne, admittedly, knew very little about what would go into it, or what she would require. “I trust you Colonel, I’m sure you’ll have them drawn up with great consideration. I require nothing extra.”

“You might not require it, but you deserve it. If you think of something upon reading it, you must tell me.”

“Yes, Colonel. Thank you.” Marianne paused for a moment before continuing. “I do have a question to ask of you, though.”

“Anything.”

“Might you call me Marianne sometimes? When we’re alone like this?”

The Colonel smiled again, and Marianne thought that she hadn’t seem him smile to much in all of their acquaintance. “I would, if you will call me by my Christian name as well.”

Marianne thought for a moment, “Colonel, I don’t think I know your Christian name.”Marianne laughed a little as she said it.

“Ah, Well, I’m Christopher Wesley Brandon. It’s been a long time since anyone had the need of my true name. It feels a little strange to say it.”

“It’s a nice name, Christopher.”

The Colonel stepped a little closer to her he spoke. “Thank you, and thank you for agreeing to be my wife. I promise I will make you happy, Marianne.”


End file.
